DCL 1.3 Instruction | Our Family: My Family Today Gives Me Stability


“If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?”

1 Timothy 3:5

“Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.”

1 Timothy 4:15-16

Remember: Decisions help us start in the right direction. Discipline helps us finish.  Three more areas we must master in our personal growth are the management of our family, our thoughts, and the commitments we make as leaders.


Video Presentation: Tom Atema, VP of International Ministries and Strategic Partnerships, EQUIP

My family is my primary network for expressing grace and truth. Everyone needs family. Let’s begin our study by assessing how well we’ve managed and cared for our families:

1.  What percentage of your waking hours do you give to your family?
2.  Do you manage your ministry/career better or your family better?
3.  If you listed one regret you have about how you’ve led your family, what would it be?

More than any other single factor in a person’s formative years, family life forges character. As Perry F. Webb noted, “The home…is the lens through which we get our first look at marriage and all the civic duties; it is the clinic where, by conversation and attitude, impressions are created with respect to sobriety and reverence; it is the school where lessons of truth or falsehood, honesty or deceit are learned; it is the mold which ultimately determines the structure of society.”

The Apostle Paul asks a sobering question in I Timothy 3:5: “If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?” God intended for our spiritual leadership to begin in the home—then, expand from there. We’re not to form categories and separate our leadership in the home from our leadership in our careers. The home is the “laboratory” where we practice leadership first, and if it doesn’t work at home, we shouldn’t try to export it!


Biblical Case Study: Lot (Genesis 13, 19)

These two chapters reveal much about a man named Lot, Abraham’s nephew. Although he was a fine public servant, he failed at leading in his home. Note his fatal mistakes:

1.  He placed emphasis on financial rather than spiritual prosperity (13:8-11).
2.  He assumed his family could live in Sodom and not be affected (13:12-13).
3.  He thought he could change society without taking a stand (19:1-11).
4.  He felt his family would accept his words instead of his lifestyle (19:12-14).
5.  He didn’t realise how much the world had ensnared them (19:12-26). 


Lot Could Have Benefited From Making These Three Decisions:

1.  Establish Family as a Priority. Where does your family fit in your list of priorities?
2.  Develop a Problem-Solving Strategy. How do you deal with adversity at home?
3 . Establish a Strong Values Base. What are the values you will cultivate over the years?


Managing the Disciplines of Family:

If you desire to strengthen your family life, try practicing these disciplines:

1.  Put your family on your calendar first.
2.  Create and maintain family traditions.
3.  Find ways to spend time together.
4.  Keep your marriage healthy.
5.  Express appreciation for each other.
6.  Resolve conflict as quickly as possible.



  • Choose two actions from the list above and list or share how you’ll practice them.


DCL Meditation and Inspiration Media and Notes © Willow Creek Association.
DCL Instruction Media and Notes © EQUIP Million Leaders Mandate Volume 2.